The history of food.

Hello! Jia Qi here! This is a really troll piece I randomly wrote cos the QQ theme was food, not everyone will like this, but oh well! Food is Good (Rhyme Intended)

The history of food.

Perhaps one of the most significant years in the history of food is the year 2080. This year was where the animal rights and animal liberation movements, which haven been ongoing for the better part of the century, truly reached its climax.

The world’s population had exploded, due to myriad reasons, mostly due to technological advancements in healthcare. To feed the ballooning populations’ massive demand for meat, producers had to manufacture them on a biological production line. These production lines, according to the leaders of the aforementioned movements were an insult to life and a shame to the human race. As the situation got worse and animals started to look like a bag of chemicals, the movements became mainstream, and riots broke out throughout the world, including Africa – the world’s biggest producer of meat at that time. The vegetarian movement hopped on to the bandwagon at this point and came into fashion too.

The sudden explosion of resentment towards their products flummoxed the producers of meat, and no amount of desperate counter-campaigns on their part could help the situation. Eventually the solution came in the form of another new technology: dirt-meatology. It had previously been sidelined by the world due to the yuck factor – initial laboratory products looked nothing like meat. For years scientists simply produced better and better slurries that had the chemical composition of meat, but none of its physical characteristics. They all seemed obsessed in producing all manners of disgusting black slurries – no scientist wanted to face the terribly impossible task of developing real meat, and were content in taking tax payers’ to play with their chemistry…at least until they had more money.

However in light of world events, desperate companies poured money into and pressured all manner of research institutions to produce something serious. The Chinese premier, Fang Jie Ken, in his 2082 landmark speech at Tiananmen square said, “We choose to research dirt-meatology, not because it is easy. But because it is necessary”

The greatest resultant breakthrough came in 2089 from scientist Ain Elbertsteen, who overcome the greatest barrier of the budding technology: he developed the quantum process of turning the nutrient slurry produced from dirt into any form of protein and enzyme which could then simply be mixed around to produce any kind of food imaginable. He also managed to scale up the process, making mass production possible. 

This new process breathed new life into the meat industry, because nobody, for now, can question if dirt had rights to liberty or have feelings. This stopped most of the rioting, and people were once again content with what they were eating. Further developments in using the same technology for vegetables also helped stem the up and coming tidal wave of plants-have-feelings-too movement, which really promised to starve everybody on earth to earth. Thankfully that crisis was averted. Dirt become the new food, and has since become the source of every bite we take today.